An apology, well-played, could go a long way.  If you take advantage of the opportunity to apologize, you can gain more ground than you lost.

Sarah Palin had a chance to gain some ground among political moderates with a well-played apology, and she lost it.

Palin taped a segment for her reality TV show last week in Alaska when she came across a homemade banner which read “Worst Governor Ever.”  She confronted the lady who hung the sign, who told Palin she was disappointed she abandoned her political gig for a more lucrative celebrity gig.  The citizen argued Palin let the state down; Palin argued she was defending America by supporting candidates who uphold the Constitution.  It was a somewhat heated exchange between the two women (punctuated by one of the Palin daughters acting like a brat, but that’s another story for another time), and you can watch it here.

At one point Palin asks the citizen what she does for a living.  When she replied that she is a schoolteacher, Palin rolled her eyes.

The video was picked up by blogs and cable news, and Palin had to come up with a response for her non-verbal dismissal of the schoolteacher.  Palin’s response: the mainstream media is over-reacting to her “eye movements.”  Further, she said that the exchange showed “two people discussing the things they care about, even though they respectfully disagree about just about everything.”

And that’s when Palin lost a golden opportunity.

Her reaction to the video is mistaken on three points.  First, she frames the media as being obsessed with her alleged eye-rolling.  But it’s not alleged.  She rolled her eyes.  It’s not that subtle.

Second, Palin suggests the eye-rolling is the story, not the callous disregard Palin showed the schoolteacher.  No one expects Palin to agree with the citizen, but decency dictates you can disagree without acting like a wounded teenager.

Third, Palin wrote that she “respectfully disagrees” with the schoolteacher.  No, Sarah.  You did not respectfully disagree.  You rolled your eyes.  Rolling your eyes is a nonverbal cue that you do not care about what the speaker is saying.  You cannot argue that you respect a speaker when you roll your eyes at her.

So what do you do when you are caught disrespecting and dismissing someone like this?  You apologize.  And in that apology you acknowledge what you did was wrong, you acknowledge how you hurt the other person, and you attempt to make amends.

Here’s what a public apology could sound like:

“I talked with a lady with whom we shared some disagreements.  In hindsight I realize I completely dismissed her perspective.  That was uncalled for, and undignified of me, and I would like to apologize to her.  Anyone who wants to engage in a discussion of the virtues of America deserves my respect and undivided attention, and I failed to give her either.  I’m sorry, and when we get a chance to talk again I’ll show her the decency she should expect of a former governor.”

That apology would not compromise the values Palin wants to promote.  Plus, it would make her appear honest, sincere, and humble.  It’s a response that even her most liberal critics could not fault her for.  And, Palin would come across as more reasonable than the schoolteacher who created the “Worst Governor Ever” banner.

A good apology does not force you to lose the moral high ground.  In fact, you gain the moral high ground.  If Palin can’t understand that, then maybe the schoolteacher’s banner was right after all.