How Snooki Can Shape the Presidential Contest



There are still a few Americans who haven’t decided whom they will vote for in November. I believe most of these people are Republicans—their candidate doesn’t exactly model their values, and they certainly don’t plan to vote for the Democrat. Given their choices, they cannot decide who would be the better President.

But even though the question of “who will be a better President” will divide the country for the next few months, we can all agree on who would be a terrible choice for President. And that person is Snooki from The Real Jersey Shore.

Snooki can’t exactly become President: she’s not thirty-five-years-old, nor was she born in the United States, which are two qualifications for being the President. Plus, she’s not running.

But let’s say she were a thirty-five-year-old natural-born U.S. citizen, and she were running a campaign for the presidency. She’d still be a terrible President.

We expect Presidents to demonstrate gravitas. They must be capable of tackling complicated issues with both dignity and empathy. Presidents must be intellectually curious, able to understand and appreciate conflicting arguments, listen to advisers who are smarter than they are, and make decisions that best serve the nation’s interests of promoting democracy and liberty.

Snooki is known for embarrassing herself on national television. Her noteworthy choices include picking fights, getting drunk, and saying remarkably stupid things while knowingly and approvingly having those decisions recorded and broadcast. Her cultural cache comes not from honor or dignity, but from being a fool.

We don’t expect Presidents to be honored with a WWE Slammy Award for “A-Lister of the Year.” Snooki won hers in 2011.

If you are still one of those Americans who can’t decide which Presidential candidate is best for our country, I encourage you to ask yourself, “Which candidate reminds me the most of Snooki?”

Then vote for the other candidate.

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